I <3 U, K?

James looked up to meet Justin's eyes tentatively. He tried out a small smile. Surprising, how easy it was, if he just focused on the fact that this boy was the person who had made him smile and laugh all those times when he had just wanted to sink into a dark hole and sleep the rest of his life away. Of course sleeping really wasn't a better alternative.

Justin grinned back, happy to see the other boy lightening up. Maybe there was hope for this relationship.

"Right, well, I'll start."

He stood and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans before holding out a hand.

"I apologize for being a dick, a jerk, for calling you names and calling you gay, oh the irony, and for stealing your homework, and for decking you, and beating you up, and getting you in trouble, and for my overall douche baggery."

James shook his hand readily. It was surprisingly warm.

"And I'm sorry for being such a total dumbass that I wasn't able to see the amazing person you really are. And of course the name calling, fighting, insults, tripping, mom insults, and everything else that made me such a jackass to you."

That really didn't seem to even begin to cut it, but it was a start.

Justin's smile grew and he shook the hand in his own before stopping abruptly.

"... That was you who tripped me?"

This was news to him.

James smiled sheepishly.

"I was pissed. Just the other day you had given me that bloody nose and I felt the urge to return the favor. You can't imagine how disappointed I was when you barely got a bruise. Speaking of which...are you still hurt from the other day? It sounded like your shoulder got it pretty bad..."

He winced. He was going to feel guilty about that for a while... About everything, really.

Justin brushed it off with a shrug. "Nah, it's fine. I've been through worse."

He remembered how much of his... struggles he had told Blue about. That meant James knew. Which was suddenly extremely scary for him, considering that he knew James and yet he didn't know how he would take all that shit.

James took in Justin's suddenly slightly panicked expression, guessing the reason.

"I'll help you get through it, okay? You don't have to be alone in your pain. And I sure as hell won't add to it anymore. I'd sooner put myself through all I've done to you."

Hipster had always put on a strong front, but underneath it all, he was one of the most tortured people James knew. And the last person who deserved it.

And now he could breath easy.

"Thanks." It was genuine gratitude in his voice, coupled with a soft smile and the return of the light in his eyes. His life was shit, yeah, but he heard that it got better when someone else was there, cheering you on.

"So, uhm..." he shifted his weight to the other foot. "You're not, like, disgusted right? Cause, I'm pretty sure most people would be, what, with what I've done and what's been done to me..."

He didn't want to push his luck but he also didn't want to jump into this only to be destroyed from the inside out later on.

James scoffed.

"Ju-Justin if I were disgusted by any of that, I wouldn't have stuck with you for so long online. I wouldn't have fallen for Hipster if he disgusted me. You can't help what happened to you-It's done and over with. I sure as hell can't blame you for any of it. I want to help you look past it all."

Yeah, this was just making him sound increasingly stupid and mushy. It didn't help that he had been carried here like a swooning princess either...

Justin smile grew. "Just checkin."

James smiled back, more confidently now. Finally his head had cleared and he could begin to think straight.

"Sorry about...you know almost passing out before. me and heights don't get along that well. It was stupid of me to suggest meeting on the pier. Don't know what I was thinking," he sighed.

"Yeah, that was kinda stupid..." Justin trailed off, a hint of a smirk growing on his lips. "Like that field trip we had. To the gorge?" He chuckled to himself. "You flipped out."

James rubbed his eyes, muttering, "Don't push it."
He remembered it well. Especially the fact that he had ended up falling in after a certain someone had "accidentally" brushed past him just a little too hard. James was a good swimmer and he was able to get out fine. It was the falling part that got to him. Really really got to him.

Justin paused and scratched at the back of his head.

"... Yeah, sorry. That was wrong of me."

He sighed and looked down.

"Wow... We have a lot to work out..."

"This whole thing is just...a lot to process. I'm so used to snapping into instant survival mode whenever I see you- it's just...weird. Stupidly ironic. I totally had this coming."

James gave a small laugh.

"Just imagine how freaked out the teachers are going to be. Us not trying to tear each other's throats out at every given opportunity."

"Oh God." Justin held a hand to his face to stifle the laughter that threatened to escape. "I'll bet they're going to send us to the counselors more than they did when we were fighting!"

Now that'd be something.

"So... anything else we should discuss? I mean, the rest we'll probably get to at a late time, but... Anything really, really freaking important you have to get out?"

He smiled reassuringly.

"I'm all ears for ya, Blue."

James bit his lip, trying to find a way to put his thoughts into words. Something he had wanted to tell Hipster for a while but never quite had the nerve to say. Might as well try now.

"...When we first became friends, I was at a point in my life where I was desperate to cling to anything, to anyone to save me from...from living I guess. You..."

It was really hard to continue. His throat caught and he had to clear his throat and duck his head down again before going on. God he didn't want to screw this up.

"...I could have so easily broken down and gone to Rowan. She's so...manipulative. But...I didn't. I had you, some random guy I had met off the internet who thought I was worth something. That...you saved me. That's all there is to it. I guess I just want to thank you for...being there."

There. He had just up and creeped Justin out and now they'd go back to square one, hating each other and making each other's lives hell just because they could.

But he didn't want to do that anymore...

Justin stood in silence and mild shock, mulling James' words over in his head. Of all the things he had been expecting him to say, that wasn't one of them. In his mind, James would've said something more black and white, not gray. He hadn't said anything necessarily bad, just unexpected.

But considering the look on the blond's face, James felt like he had said both.

When really, he had only voiced Justin's thoughts as well. I mean, really, if you look at half the shit he'd been through in the past three years alone, probably the first thought that would pop into your head would be "how the fuck is this kid still breathing?". And he asked himself that same question from time to time as well. It was hard not to, really. Some mornings, it took all he had just to drag himself out of bed.

And then he had gotten bored one day in computer class and logged onto some random chat room and met a guy with a cute little web name, Bluer than Blood. Ironic, considering what Justin was. He had struck up a conversation and suddenly they were spending every moment they could together in front of the computer screen, just talking. Talking and talking and talking, about nothing, at first, until Justin had been having a particularly rough day and he had spilled it all. Everything that made him the freak he was, that made him disgusting and inhuman and just wrong.

And Blue had accepted it wholeheartedly, even offering words of encouragement whenever the shit just became too much.

So, Blue, and coincidentally, James, had becoming something more than a friend. He had become someone he could trust and talk to and this ultimately was the only reason he hadn't offed himself a while back for his friends. Well, that, and that his friends would throw themselves in Hell after him to drag him out. But Blue was part of it. And he was grateful for that.

"I'm glad I was there." He smiled. "Rowan's a bitch. Totally not worth your time. And..." he sat in the booth beside the blond. "You did the same for me. So, thank you."

And that was probably the most heartfelt thanks he had ever given.

James smiled, suddenly seized up by the urge to hug the other boy. Or touch his face. Something.
But...not yet. That would have to wait for when they got things figured out and the world began making sense again. Because he was almost tempted to believe that this entire day had been some sort of hallucination or bizarre Nightmare-though...no, not really a Nightmare. At first, the new turn of events had made it seem like the world was ending and life would never go on but now...It seemed like maybe-just maybe everything would be okay.

Instead the blond contented himself with just knowing that the moment would come if it was meant to. Some time off in the future, probably not today, or tomorrow, but some time.

He blinked, realizing that he had just totally stared at the wall for probably a minute now, right in the middle of their heart to heart.

"...Crap sorry..."

"Nah, it's fine." Justin said easily, grinning. "I take it as a good sign. My old theory was that you didn't have a discernible thought process in your head. Now, I think you think too much."

Justin looked up as a waitress came up to them, looking slightly frazzled, but smiling nonetheless.

He turned to James. "Want anything? I'm buying."

James blinked.

"...One coke please," he said to the waitress.

The lady nodded and scribbled it down in her pad, before turning to Justin. James twiddled with a loose thread in his shirt. Those things always bugged him, for some reason. But now he was kind of grateful for them. The little bits of string gave him something to distract himself with, something to do so he didn't drive himself crazy thinking about everything that could be going wrong in this scenario.

He was still freaking out a little somewhere in the back of his mind.

"Bottled water."

She left.

Justin sighed through his nose and interlinked his fingers, setting them on the table in front of him. He had one more question to ask about what he'd told Camden. It wasn't truly important to the other, probably, but it was to him. He just didn't know how to ask it besides outright saying it. And he didn't want to come out as rude or proud or doubtful but he was really running out of options here. Finally, he just let his hands fall into his lap. He put on a sincerely apologetic face and just said it.

"You know I would have never tried to actually kill you in this fights, right?"

James looked up in some surprise. He hadn't expected that.

"Well if you had asked me that yesterday before I knew who you really are...then I honestly wouldn't have known. But now, yeah I know. You'd never kill someone over something as petty as our stupid rivalry. You have morals."

He hoped that had come out right...

Justin sighed again, though thankfully in relief this time.

"Okay, good." he breathed, a ghost of a smile coming back. "Good, I just..." He bit his lip. "I don't know, I felt that... well, you know so much about what I've done that you know I can kill you with a thought, a snap of my finger, and I just want you to know now that... that I would never, ever do that."

That sounded kinda cheesy.

"Okay?"

James nodded, running a finger over the grain of the table's surface. That statement was a bit overwhelming. Not the words that he had said. It was perfectly logical. Of course Justin wouldn't have killed him. But the emotion behind it, the sincerity...

"And...The Lucid thing. Did you actually believe me when I told you about it? I mean...it's a lot to swallow. And pretty difficult to believe. You haven't just been humoring me this whole time?"

It's not like James could prove anything. He didn't know if Justin had been tested or not yet, and chances were he wouldn't pass and he'd just stay like everyone else, mind trapped inside the walls of the Bound Realm, never knowing what was really out there...Either way Justin wouldn't remember anything about becoming Lucid. Unless he did become a Lucid. Which was highly unlikely.

So he really had no way of proving it.