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 New Beginning

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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:48 pm

Another ten seconds had passed, and the teacher had moved in on James and Alexis.

James quickly turned to face Alexis and began prattling on in frantically jumbled Spanish, not really paying attention to what he was saying.

It loosely translated to, "this weekend I ran up a mall, bought a dollar, and brushed my hair with my toothpaste because I was hungry."

Senora Valdez passed by without so much as a second glance.

Alexis hadn't so much as twitched an eyelid.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:02 pm

As the teacher made her rounds, Justin tried to physically sink deeper and deeper into the stiff plastic chair of his desk, trying desperately to become invisible fro that terrifying stare of disappointment.

He hated disappointing people.

He didn't look up, even as she stopped by his desk and cleared her throat.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:51 pm

Senora Valdez waited for Justin to acknowledge her, but if anything he just cowered further into his desk. She sighed, glancing around the class and then turning back to the brunet.

"Justin, come outside the classroom with me for a moment. You're not in trouble, I just want to talk."

She led him out of the room, turning back once to threaten the rest of the class with lunch detentions if she saw anyone screaming or jumping on top of desks when she re-entered the classroom. She shut the classroom door behind them with a loud click and crossed her arms, staring at Justin with a raised eyebrow.

"Now I don't know all that much about the situation you were in before the Larsons adopted you, but I can assume it wasn't a pleasant experience. I'm trying to do what I can to help you adjust, cutting you some slack because I know this language is completely new to you and I'm sure you're under a lot of stress. I just want to know if there's anything more I can do to help. I know you want to just pair off with James for everything we do, but I'm not so sure that'll really help you. It's important to converse with a variety of different people when you're learning a new language."

She waited for a response, not quite sure if she should expect one or not.

~~~

James bit his lip nervously as the teacher escorted Justin out of the room.

Greeeaat just what he needs, the stress of the teacher talking down to him and probably yelling at him for not participating. Damn it today just sucks.

He groaned and let his head fall to the desk, not even bothering to see if Alexis' eyes were still trained in the direction of Justin. Her eyes had probably wandered the moment Justin had left the room.

"He lives with you, right?"

James blinked and lifted his head back up. Alexis was still in the same position, eyes fixed on the door, boredom oozing from her gaze.

He stared at her for a moment. He could just...pretend he hadn't heard that...right? The blond turned his attention back to the desk and dropped his head in his arms, closing his eyes.

"What, going to ignore me like an asshole just because I didn't want to giggle like a giddy schoolgirl in Spanish with you? I just asked you a simple question, Jesus."

James had several good retorts to that one. The results however, probably wouldn't go in his favor, or Justin's for that matter. And he would have to deal with this chick from now on until...one of them died. So becoming full out enemies in the Awake Realm would probably make being Lucid a bit...awkward to say the least. Especially with Justin's Lucid reaction to her...

So he grit his teeth and sat up a second time and, looking very pointedly at her, changed the subject entirely.

"Any interesting dreams last night, Rowan?"

And for the second time, she faced him, this time eyes squinted in confusion and vague remembrance.

"What did you just call me?"

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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 12:45 pm

Knowing that the Real expected some form of a response from him, Justin gnawed on his lower lip, trying to come up with a cognitive response that would be successful in explanation, but not too rude.

"... I... I speak Spanish, a-and lots of other stuff, just not..." He didn't look up, knowing that he was basically defying her with every word.

"I don't speak this Spanish, and I don't like it very much cause it sounds ragged and stripped of its roots and it's not very good-sounding andIreallydon'tlikeitbutI'mtryingsoI'msorry."

Yeah, he kinda ended up rambling in the end..

He took in a deep breath before continuing.

"I'm sorry that I can't get pas that. I can speak anything else you want!"

Wow, he sounded desperate.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:18 pm

"So you can speak Spain Spanish? Look, Justin the point isn't whether or not you know the language already, it's whether I can help you learn it." She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose like she had a headache.

"Why...I know you already speak French quite fluently. Are you not taking that class because you wanted to learn something new or is it because James was already in here? If it's because of James then...I guess I can make an exception for you. Let you both be partners. I just don't like it, so you're going to have to try extra hard to learn how to speak the language. You write it very fluently, so I'm not too worried. It's just your speaking that really needs some work. Make sure you two practice it at home, James also needs practice." She sighed again, like it was killing her to let the two stay partners in her class.

"Deal? Deal. Now let's go back in before your hooligan classmates make the place go up in flame."

~~~
James quirked an eyebrow. So Alexis remembered a little. That might make this a little bit easier.

He was sure to lower his voice before continuing, "I don't expect you to remember much, but last night, you had a dream. A weird one, pretty different than your normal ones, I'd say. Much more vivid. And little bits of it probably stick out in your memory. A blond guy with demon wings, red shirt. Chick with blonde curly hair and angel wings. A dude with blue hair-"

She grabbed him by the wrist, clamping down on the limb with iron strength, or at least iron strength compared to what he had expected from a twig like her.

"How do you know?" Her eyes were wide, almost...desperate for an answer.

He winced and tried to yank his hand away from her, but Alexis wouldn't let go, she only squeezed harder.

"Cuz I was there," he said through gritted teeth. "Now let go before you start something."

The girl's eyes narrowed to a glare, but she released him. The skin on his wrist was white. She had cut off the blood circulation apparently.

"How do you know about my dream?" she hissed, not even bothering to look around anymore to see if anyone was watching. Which, by the way, they were.

James leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms, smirking at her. It felt good to be the one with answers.

"Find me and Justin at lunch. No time right now."

And just as he said that, the door opened and Senora Valdez returned with Justin in tow.

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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:25 pm

Justin nodded obediently as she left, taking that as a sign that the conversation was over.

He felt he should mention how many languages he actually spoke, but wasn't sure...

They were in the classroom, when he spoke her name, not even knowing what he was doing.

"Miss Valdez..." he started, and once she had turned, he wasn't sure what to do. He stuttered, his mouth suddenly dry, but saw James, just staring at him, and pushed on, knowing that this was one of the ways they wanted him to cope.

"I-I also speak Russian, Romanian, Greek, German, Latin, Arabic, Italian, Urdu, Czech, Galician, Welsh, Hebrew, Irish, Lithuanian, Persian, Yiddish, Polish, and can Sign along with the Castilian and French..." The list came easy enough. He'd been reciting it since he could speak English.

"So... So I meant it when I said I could speak whatever you'd like..." he pleaded again, not sure why, but felt the faint distinction that she wasn't happy with neither him nor James and James didn't deserve that.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:10 pm

The teacher stared at him, openmouthed, standing in the middle of the classroom, not even halfway up to her desk. She blinked, sighed, and rubbed between her eyes again, evidently her headache was only getting worse.

"Alright Mr. Larson, I'll keep that in mind. You can return to your desk." She shook her head slightly and turned back to her desk, but stopped and looked around at the class. A fourth of her students had their cell phones out, texting, a small portion were sitting on top of the desks, gossiping, and then a few had their heads down and had the appearance of zombies, or they were unconscious.

She marched up to the whiteboard and grabbed the noisemaker that she kept for rare occasions such as these.

James winced, preparing to cover his ears. He gestured at Justin across the room to do the same.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:25 pm

Justin quickly covered his ears and scrambled back to his seat, head still hung.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:44 pm

James involuntarily shut his eyes as the earsplitting screech of the noisemaker shattered the dull roar of the classroom. He was still wincing when Senora Valdez set the small object back on the whiteboard shelf.

"Alright warmup is over. How we ended up turning that into a ten minute warmup, I have no idea, but we need to get on with the lesson. Conjugations of three new verbs."

A small handful of students stood and returned to their assigned seats, James included. He sighed in relief as he settled back in next to Justin. He glanced back at Alexis.

She was back to staring right at Justin. Blatantly.

James turned back to the whiteboard, where the teacher was writing down three new verb conjugation charts. He groaned and took out his notes. It was going to be a long day.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:51 pm

-DO THE TIME WARP-

Justin tried not to wince as a "fellow classmate" bumped into him none-too-gently as he tried to make his way to his and James' regular lunch table. The crowds...

He bit his bottom lip as a shriek rang to his right. It was probably some teen girl laughing too loudly to impress a guy, but to him, a scream meant something else entirely.

He slumped into the bench in front of the table with a worn sigh, folding his hands in his lap, and waiting for the blond. James made everything okay.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 3:25 pm

James glanced across the lunch room as he tried to pick Justin out at their table. It was too crowded in here, too many people massed around that general area for him to pick out the brunet from where he was probably sitting.

He stared back up at the line he was standing in. He always tried to get here fast, he hated making Justin wait on him, but he had to make sure he got food for the both of them. Hopefully Justin would eat today. It always felt like some sort of...one sided battle, trying to get Justin to take care of himself, he who was so used to suffering. A gross understatement, too, probably. There were still things that James hadn't been able to get out of Justin, so many secret torments that the boy had suffered that he wouldn't talk about. Because he knew it would hurt James to hear these things, or perhaps maybe he thought James would start to see him as something vile.

James shuddered as he moved up in the line, hefting his backpack to try to loosen the tension building up in his shoulders. He glanced in the table's direction a second time, still unable to make out Justin. He bit his lip, willing the line to go faster.

~~~

Alexis glanced around the cafeteria from where she sat, surrounded by her usual crowd. As much as she loathed the idea of hanging around someone as...disgusting as James Larson, she was...well burning up with curiosity on how a creep like him would know about her dream last night.

Plus Justin would be there. An extra special bonus. She didn't know what it was about him, but the new guy was just gorgeous with those tortured eyes and how he hid behind his soft hair and practically cowered in crowds. He was just too adorable! And someone like him would get the life crushed out of him without someone to tell him how things are and what you do to get people to say nice things about you to cancel out all the idiotic rumors about whoring around with five other guys because really it was absolutely ridiculous she would never consider more than three at a time and-

She saw him. Justin. All alone at a table in the corner, hands folded so cutely in his lap, hair falling into his face, hiding his probably heartbroken expression. Really, the guy always acted so sad and overwhelmed, like some chick had just ripped his heart to pieces and never looked back. There was probably more to it, but she knew a moping teenage guy when she saw one. And Justin Larson was most definitely a sad, heartbroken moper.

And she could fix it, if she could just sneak away from the table and get to him before that idiotic creep got there.

And why was Justin alone anyway? James was always practically glued to his side! It was kind of creepy, actually. They did live together. Oh god, no, no she couldn't think that, that'd ruin everything and she'd never be able to look at him in the same way! No, she was going to find out the truth for herself, right from Justin's sad, puppy lips.

Alexis nodded to herself and stood, muttering to a friend next to her that she was going to the bathroom. The girl shrugged and nodded, returning to her conversation about how her car had been egged the other day probably in revenge for TPing her ex's house.

The girl wove her way through the crowds like a snake, glancing back every so often to see if anyone she knew saw her. Nobody of importance caught her eye, so she continued on until she was sitting across from Justin, smiling sweetly.

"Hi, I'm Alexis. I noticed you sitting here all by yourself and I just thought, hey, I know that guy, he's in a few of my classes! I should go sit by him! So here I am. You're Justin right?"

The poor sucker wouldn't stand a chance.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 3:30 pm

Justin froze, neck snapping to look into the direction of that high pitched voice. His eyes barely widened.

Well, shit.

IT was that girl. The one James said was Rowan. Fuck.

He needed James here now before he did something stupid.

"Can I help you?" Justin offered stiffly, not even understanding where this attitude came from. She was a Real, for God's sake! he knew better. But he couldn't help himself as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly, hidden behind his bangs.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 3:54 pm

James bit his lip, increasingly anxious for this line to go faster. There were still eleven people in front of him, and the dude up front was staring at the choices posted on the sign above the lunch counter like he had never seen them before, like it was a life or death decision to decide on a taco or a slice of pizza. Like civilizations were going to crumble if he chose wrong.

The blond grit his teeth as he changed his mind twice, and the lunch ladies looked just about as fed up. Finally, the moron chose tacos and the line moved again.

James still couldn't see Justin.

~~~

Her smile brightened and she leaned in closer to Justin, lowering her voice.

"No but I think I can help you. Let me guess, lady troubles at your old school? I can help you get over whatever it is that's making you so frowney," she murmured, winking.

Then she straightened up and glanced around to see if anyone was watching. But again, nobody of interest. Probably because this table had some sort of invisible loser shield built up around it or something. Shame that Justin had to be hidden under it too.

"Oh, and of course your...brother asked me to come here. Had to tell me something. You two are...adoptive brothers right?" It was difficult to mask her morbid curiosity regarding their reltionship as well as her disgust for James from those three simple sentences, but she was pretty good at disguising her emotions. Better than a lot of people, anyway.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 3:57 pm

Justin frowned. Girl troubles? Brother? And her eyes, it was almost as if they flashed when she said James' name... Damn bitch was going for him, right in front of him.

Justin scowled. "No girl troubles, whatever that is, and..." he paused. Was he technically James' adopted brother?... That was a sobering thought. "I guess so, yeah. Adopted brothers."

He glanced behind her, looking for James.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:06 pm

Thank god, the line finally started moving at a faster pace. Five more people in front of him. Four Three. Two...

A large woman with her hair pulled back in a hairnet smiled at him from behind the counter, at least attempting to look like she actually wanted to be here.

"What would you like?"

"Two waters, a slice of pizza, a fruit bowl, and some chips please."

"ID number?"

Two minutes later, he was balancing the food precariously on a tray, wincing every time a stray elbow came within a few inches of the food. He was so concentrated on the task that he didn't even notice a second person at his table until he nearly crushed her hands with the tray of food.

~~~
No girl troubles, whatever that is...Interesting. But that doesn't confirm any suspicions. Maybe he's just too shy to ask anyone out so he's inexperienced. Heh, those are always the fun ones.

Alexis followed his eyes as they strayed from her in James' direction. Hmph. He wanted her to go. Well too bad, he could play hard to get all he wanted but by the end of the week, maybe two at max, he'd be hers.

"So where did you go to school before this? It must have been awful to have to leave all your friends. I bet you had girls by the armful hanging off of you, crying and begging you to stay. I do hope you don't mind me asking, I'm just curious." She had toned it down a bit, seeing that she was probably scaring him off. Some friendly questions wouldn't hurt, surely. Get him to trust her before any more flirting.

Before Justin could even answer the question, suddenly a tray of food appeared mere inches from where she had just set her hands on the table. She in her seat to face the imbecile who had nearly-

...Oh. That would explain it. The creeper himself.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:23 pm

"James..." Justin breathed in obvious relief. He looked up at the blond and hoped thatbhisneyes conveyed just how grateful he was for him to show up. He cut his eyes to the... Whore in front of him, apparently trying to occupy his space. Which was odd, considering she liked James... Maybe it was a jealousy ploy.

"Didn't go to school." he answered offhandedly, not even looking at the girl anymore. He smiled as James sat, so relieved to have the blond with him again. The girl was doing... Something.mhe glanced to her and saw her obvious glare, but.... Why at James?

"Are you okay?" he asked the blond, worry tinting his voice, but he didn't care who hear him. James had been delayed and he didn't know why and lateness was wrong so something must have been wrong
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:44 pm

"Yeah I'm fine. Got here as soon as I could. The line was long today, and this asshole took like five minutes just trying to pick between tacos and pizza," he said as he set his backpack down.

He glanced at the girl suspiciously. She had some nerve, ogling Justin right to his face. Pathetic. He'd have to keep an eye out for her for the next few weeks.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything by being here but you did ask me to find you during lunch," Alexis directed at James, sickly sweet. He could see the disdain in her eyes, how she kept glancing over her shoulder to make sure that none of her asshole friends saw her over here. Disgusting.

James grit his teeth, not quite sure how to proceed. The food in front of them went completely ignored. He was going to make an idiot of himself, trying to explain why he needed to take something of hers and she take something of his and keep it on at all times. This was insane. She was just going to stand up and walk away, laughing at him, batting her eyelashes at Justin.

"I'm going to repeat something that you heard in your dream, and hopefully it'll spark a few more memories."

She raised an eyebrow at him, clearly annoyed and thinking this would all be some waste of her time.

"Do you remember the blue guy telling you that you need to find him once you were Awake?" He had lowered his voice a little, leaning in.

The girl quirked an eyebrow, giving him the you crazy look.

"You were blatantly flirting with him, I'd think you'd remember."

Alexis scoffed, looking both confused, suspicious, annoyed, and disgusted all at once. Impressive range of emotions there, James had to admit. He looked to Justin for help, not sure if she'd believe anything he told her. It might have to come from Justin.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:22 pm

Justin nearly stuttered when James looked to him for assistance, not remember much of that night besides the burning jealously and hearted he felt towards Rowan. He'd be of no assistance here.

"I... " he started, knowing that looking at his expression right now could only be described as "dear in the headlights."

"I won't be any good here..."
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 7:15 pm

James sighed, looked down in defeat. He had to keep trying, even if she hated him and he hated her. At least Justin hated her too. Of this entire hate triangle, Justin was the only one who had no hate directed at him. Well James too in the line between him and Justin...

...But with Alexis involved...and when they were Lucid that was a different story but then that just made things complicated. This was just ridiculous.

"Alright look. We should have explained this to you while we were all still Lucid so that maybe you'd remember some traces of it, since obviously you don't remember having to meet up with us. I'm the blue guy, Justin's the black haired one. Alright? Alright. Now-"

"You expect me to believe that..." Alexis trailed off, expression turning to something like incredulous amusement.

"You..."

She shook her head, at a loss for words. The girl stood, shook her head a second time, and promptly marched off into the thinning crowd of students standing in the lunch lines.

James groaned and let his head drop into his hands.

"When she turns Lucid tonight, she's going to appear in the Dream Realm, since we didn't show her the Lucid realm. Which means she'll be dead in a matter of seconds. Which means we're dead when Lilith finds out. Unless we like...knock her unconscious some time after school and steal something of hers and somehow get...no that wouldn't even work she has to consciously give it to us. God damnit. Why does it have to be her of all people?!" He wanted to punch a wall, pretend it was her. Break something. Imagine it were her thin, anorexic bones smashing between his hands.

But he couldn't. So he just waited for his anger to subside, painfully aware of Justin's proximity to him and terrified that he might hurt him. No...no he wouldn't do that. Justin wasn't like other people, he could never hurt him.

It was just...she was after Justin like he was some hunk of meat that she could just gnaw away at to her heart's content. It was so wrong, so disgusting and vile. He couldn't let someone treat Justin like that, not after all the boy had suffered through. It was sick and twisted that the world would throw someone like her at them, just when Justin finally seemed to be relaxing into his new life just the slightest amount.

"Justin...I just...Don't want to lose you. Not to someone like her." He said it in such a small voice, it sounded pitiful next to all the fury that had been building up in him just moments ago. "She's...You deserve better, okay? Someone who sees you." He sighed, looked up from his hands and sat up, feeling incredibly stupid for...well pretty much every word that ever came out of his mouth, which was no unusual feeling so he shrugged it off, sighing.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 7:38 pm

Justin didn't even watch her go, simply moving his full attention to James. And when he started talking about how Justin deserved someone better (which was absurd, him even deserving someone, let alone this person or whoever James was referring to), Justin couldn't help the look of just pure confusion from washing over his face. What was he talking about?

"What are you talking about?"

Honestly, he was lost. Was James... Was he referring to Rowan-girl and... And him? As in, together? What?

"I-I... " He stuttered, not understanding anything the blond was saying. "She was looking at you, James... She's after you... Isn't she?"
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:38 pm

James groaned, tempted to hide his face in his hands all over again. Was Justin really that...yeah. He was. Who was James kidding?

"Justin. You yourself told me she's always staring at you in math class. She...She wants you. Not James, not Saint. She wants Camden and Justin. Hell, if she lives through tonight and finally realizes who we are in the Lucid and Awake realms, she'll probably say you're Camden and I'm Saint, just so she can have her perfect boy toy. I wouldn't put it past her. She wants you."

He looked down, repressing another surge of anger as he bared his hands into fists. He hated himself for suggesting this, but they needed her. They couldn't let her get killed tonight. It might be another thirty years before another partner was found for them, and while James relished the diea of all that time alone with Justin...hell the bitch could die if it didn't work after one more try. Damn it all. No.

He gritted his teeth. "She hates me. She won't listen to me. It...Justin I don't think we'll be able to get a Binding with her unless you somehow convince her. She'll believe you if you tell her you can walk on air, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to exchange something with you or get a tattoo or..." He couldn't hide the disgust in his voice, and didn't bother trying.[/i]

"Dammit Justin you know I would do this if I could, just to protect you from her. I hate her as much as you do but she won't even look at me! She has to be willing for this to work, willing to give you something that's hers." Damn he wanted to go track her down and strangle her, to watch her eyes go wide and her body go limp as he-

No those were bad thoughts not good. He had to breathe, in and out in and out. There, better. Why the hell was he getting so angry about her? Why couldn't he have been this angry last night, when they were Lucid, when he could have made her back down and keep her hands to herself? It was just too much, too ironic that he and Justin switched roles like this between the two Realms.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:44 pm

Justin's eyes scrunched together in confusion, though now he was very clear on the matter, or at least, what James was asking of him.

"I..." He looked after her, thinking. Thinking, thinking, thinking, what could he do. He wasn't sure how to really look at this situation. Maybe another vantage point, like he'd practiced. Maybe if he pretended he was someone he wasn't, though that wouldn't go very well since he didn't know anyone else as well as himself, so he wouldn't be very good at playing someone else as good as he played himself... Maybe it didn't have to be someone completely new, thought... Maybe...

"I could try something I learned back at-t..." he stuttered, suddenly hit with an onslaught of memories that he wished he could just cut out of his brain through his eyes with one of their precious scalpels...

But he pushed through it and zeroed in on what he intended to do.

"The-the doctors, they liked me pretending to b-be someone who was-was..." he paused, licking his lips, trying to say this in a way that would make James freak out and think him a slut. "Who was interested in them... I could try-" his voice suddenly stopped working, images coming to mind, forceful, cold hands, rough voices, violent shoves, blood, so much blood-

"...I could do that?" He finished quietly, hoping that his current train wreck of a thought process didn't show.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:06 pm

"No."

James shook his head firmly, eyes sparking dangerously with even more anger. God damn it no. He wasn't going to make Justin-no. He couldn't even think it.

"No," he said more softly, placing a gentle hand on Justin's shoulder. He could see how much pain it caused the other, even if Justin was the best of the best at masking his thoughts.

"You...That life back there, it's over. You don't have to be that person anymore. I just want you to be you. Nothing is worth you doing that to yourself, forcing yourself to be someone you're not, someone who makes you feel diseased and...Justin, I-"

Holy shit not now this was a horrible place to suddenly let those words jump out of his mouth noooonono. James bit into his lip, hard. This was not the time, not the place. he took a deep breath to steady his shaken nerves, trying to keep himself under control. People usually didn't look over at their table, but that didn't mean they were blind.

"Just...Just act like you want to be her friend. Smile at her, ask her questions about her life, girls love that. Flatter her a little, but don't outright flirt. Just be nice enough to get her to think you might have a crush on her. It'll be enough to have her gushing over you, and she'll lay it on thick, but...Don't become someone you hate just to get her to do the Binding with you. Sje's already head over heels for you, you barely need to lift a finger to get her to do what you want. She thinks it's other way around, but she doesn't know what we know. Do what you have to but...don't give her what she wants."

Damn. He was a god damned hypcorite for telling Justin to act like this when he had been letting Rowan lay all over him. No wonder Justin had been so angry last night.
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:18 pm

Justin faltered, now almost scared.

"B-but, I can't do that! I know how to make the Doctors happy and if that was the same with her, I could do it, but... but that? That's... I don't know if I can show emotion like that! Let alone touch her voluntarily!"

he wasn't meaning to yell, but he needed James to... he had to understand this. He wasn't like them.

"I'll get scared, I'll run!" he pleaded, subconsciously reaching forward to fist a hand in James' shirt.

"You're the only Real I can talk to!"
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PostSubject: Re: New Beginning   Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:43 pm

Ah, people were staring now. James swallowed back his own fear at seeing Justin react like this. He had to get the brunet to calm down and fast.

"Then...I don't know pretend she's me?" But even before the words left his mouth James knew it was a terrible idea. In his gut...he knew Justin would only be able to cope with this the way he'd...been taught.

Holy hell I am never going to be able to forgive myself for putting this on him, for making him do this because...I'm too much of a loser to even...god damn it!

He shut his eyes, breathing hard through his nose. He would never forgive himself for this, never. And he would do everything to make it up to Justin, everything in his power.

"Okay." James said it quietly, nodding ever so slightly. "I just...I won't be able to forgive myself for not being able to do this myself. For making you...go to...such measures. I don't want you to keep getting hurt. Justin I'm not angry at you, don't ever think that. I'm angry at her, and at myself. I'm so so sorry," he said, practically whispering now. Somehow his face has ended up back in his hands, and he didn't even care if people were staring anymore.

"I...I could never hate you Justin. Never. I...really care about you." There. There went three fourths of what he'd been keeping locked up inside, he just hadn't quite phrased it the right way yet, and he wouldn't do that here. He slumped, breathing in and out, trying to focus on anything at all but the pounding in his head and throat, the blood throbbing as he waited for something, anything.
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