L'ecole d'Idiots

Leah gaped.
"...Only extremely famous lyrics to like, the best movie ever! That's it! When we find our rooms, I'm going to shove you down in front of a TV and make you watch Wizard of Oz!"
She had brought all of her favorite movies.

~~~

"...Odd. She doesn't strike me as much of a Lady."

"Pfft, like you're gonna be able to find your room!" He grinned.

~ = ~

"She hates it. But what's this Lucid thing?"

"I could always follow you until you find yours," she replied with a gleam in her eye.

~~~

".....It's impossible to explain. Literally....Lilith always has a hell of a time trying to explain to newbies. I'm not even gonna bother. Like I said, maybe if they break a few rules, I can show you tonight."

"Hah, yeah, like that'll ever happen!" His grin faltered as realization dawned. Where the hell was his room?!

~ = ~

"Well, if Lady Collette is a "Higher up" as you put it, she probably would. She thinks she owes me or something..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "And what do you have to do?"

Leah hummed out the tune of the song she had just referenced, thinking up a new battle plan for finding their room. Asking people wasn't working. Maps were out of the question. And wandering around aimlessly wasn't a much better solution. She was out of ideas.

~~~

"Wow, getting a higher up thinking they owe you? You must be in deep."
"Uh, you won't have to do anything. It's all up to me and the higher ups to get stuff sorted out tonight. Just put it out of your mind for a while and relax. Or whatever."
he wasn't going to straight out say all you have to do is fall asleep dumbass. No, being subtle was the kinder way. Plus, if the guy got it on his mind that something exciting would happen after he fell asleep, then he probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep from the anticipation.

"What if we, like... Fuck, I've got nothing." Okami made a face, frustrated, before once again running a hand through his hair except this time he was much more careful about exposing his eye.

~ = ~

"I guess I am... And fine, I'll wait. Just to let you know, though, is if it has something to do with sleeping you can just forget it. I haven't fallen asleep in 13 years."

Leah sighed, chewing on her lip.
There was a sudden pop, and then the map on the wall transformed to show the boarding room layout.

~~~

"...But dude. If you go for ten days without sleep, you can die. How have you gone 13 years without it? "

Okami just stared at the new map before turning to the girl beside him. "Let's just pretend that was always there, okay?"

~ = ~

"Technically.. I already did die..." Justin admitted, rubbing at the back of his head. "It's got to do with the reason why Lady Collette thinks she owes me."

"Yeah...e should probably figure out where to go before it disappears on us. That would totally su-"
A loud bang and the wall was reduced to bits of dust. The bookshelf leaning against it fell over, crashing into the next shelf. The cursed domino effect...
".....Shit."

~~~

"....Yeah sounds like you've got it about five times as worse than I do then. Well...that might complicate matters a bit, but the higher-ups might be able to work around that slight...issue."

"For the record, I blame you." Okami deadpanned, staring at the now rubble-wall emotionless. "Also, I vote we go into that weird-looking-centre-circle-rune-thingy. Right over there."

He pointed at a lightly-glowing blue rune on the floor.

~ = ~

"Eh, depends. Experiences and relationships wise, I may be worse off. And I'm sure they could, I just wouldn't want to." He sighed heavily. "You think that dying doesn't give you a couple nightmares?"

"...Sounds like a good plan." She casually grabbed her backpack and suitcase and skipped over to the rune, staring at it with curiosity, if anything.
Leah was about to step on it to see what would happen, when it exploded, knocking her straight into Okami and landing them both heavily on the floor.
She laughed, "Jeez, today is not our day, is it?"

~~~

"Nah, the Nightmares won't bother you when we're in the Lucid realm, they're blocked out of there. Uh...just don't worry about it. You'll be fine if you stick with me...Wow that must make absolutely no sense whatsoever..."

Okami just laid there a moment, sighing, before standing and offering a hand, smirking. "Eh, one day we'll get a break. Just not today. But one day."

He looked off wistfully into nothing in a dramatic way, pulling a long, drawn out sigh and holding the back of his free hand to his forehead, like a swoon.

~ = ~

"Things have been explained to me in worse ways." Justin waved it off. "I'll get it eventually. Learning on my feet is something I learned is absolutely necessary to survive."

Leah giggled. Getting lost was the best thing that had happened today because she had met Okami. She was about to say so when a flash of white blinded her vision and everything seemed to spin around before settling back in a new environment.
The girl blinked. They were now standing in front of a massive building that looked suspiciously like the entrance building she had been looking for. And a giant crowd of people were staring at them.

~~~

"Well that's a good skill to ha-"
James was cut off as a flash of white hit him in the face and he fell face flat on hard concrete.

Okami stuttuered a curse as he registered all the foreign faces staring at him. He didn't like people looking at him in general so there heated stares were unnerving, to say the very least. He laughed awkwardly, waving stiffly.

"Uh, hi..."

~ = ~

Justin gasped as he stumbled, luckily not hitting the concrete as his unfortunate roommate had.

"Here..." He mumbled, offering a hand to the blond on the ground.

Leah's eyes widened as the stares intensified into glares. Smoke was rising from what was probably the library...or what was left of it.

A tall old man guy was glaring at them particularly harshly.
"What do you two have to say for yourselves," he growled.

Leah squeaked, "Uh...sorry?"

~~~

"Thanks," James groaned, taking the hand gratefully. Why was he always the one who landed on the ground?

"I regret nothing." Okami stated, face void of emotion. "Now tell me what we did."

~ = ~

Justin hoisted the boy up and looked towards what everyone was looking at. A boy and a girl, on the concrete as James had been moments before, one look confused the other blank.

He didn't know either of them.

"Vandalism, misuse of maps, wandering about the campus unattended, and being plain stupid, "he snapped, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Well then.

"But-nobody told us where to go! We couldn't find our rooms!"

~~~

James got a strange feeling from the girl when he first glanced her, but he quickly shook it off. Stupid hallucinations, making him get false premonitions about people.

"Once more," Okami stood before helping Leah up. "I regret nothing." He gave the man the bird.

~ = ~

Justin would have laughed at the other boy's actions if he wasn't so shocked already.

"I am going to pretend you didn't just do that to reduce the amount of punishment the two of you will receive, seeing as you're both new here. Those who get in trouble get an increased amount of...odd circumstances to deal with throughout the day. We believe the best punishment for students is an increased opportunity for learning."

Leah peeped, "But-but-how will I know if it's my normal hallucinations or real?!"

"You won't."

~~~

James cracked a small smile at the black-haired boy's response to the accusations.

Okami put on his most calculative face, rubbing at his chin like he had a goatee. "Hm... There's a word for people like you, my good man. "Bully" is one, though I prefer "simpleton". Because only a fool would jump to such brash conclusions." He leaned back, his eyes half-lidded, like he was thinking, nose in the air. "Who's to say it was us?"

~ = ~

"This guy's just the type I hate..." Justin seethed, scowling.

"Alright, now you're just trying to be smart with me. Now you have a detention on top of the extra chaos in your sorry excuse for a life. We know because there are witnesses. Many witnesses. You just didn't see most of them. And you are distracting me form the reason who the entire student body is here as well," the man growled, becoming increasingly annoyed.

"As we begin the new term, there will be many circumstances such as what occurred today, "he continued, raising his voice for the entire crowd to hear him.
"I can almost guarantee every one of you will be somehow involved in some incident that will result in punishment of some sort. Not because you necessarily did anything wrong, but because you didn't use your wits. Like these two prime examples here. The more mistakes you make, the more punishment you receive in the form of more opportunities to increase the mistakes you make. If you die making one of these mistakes, you fail all of your courses automatically. Live and you might not fail. We believe in teaching you all how to cope with the bizarre until it gets to the point that you won't be able to separate reality from fantasy and you will always be prepared. On top of this, you all need to pass your academic classes. The rest is up to you. "

Another bang and suddenly, Leah and Okami were in a long hall lined with dark, elegant doors.
"Looks like we finally found our dorms," Leah squeaked.

~~~

"Who, the guy or the old dude?"

Justin's reply went unheard when the old man turned to the audience and began explaining the process.

"...Wonderful. Sounds like this is gonna be pure hell."

Okami looked around a moment, trying to catch his bearings, before grinning down sheepishly at the girl beside him.

"Sorry about the detention... I don't really like being made a fool of in front of everyone, ya know?"

~ = ~

"Both" He spat out after the man had finished his rant. "And I'm just gonna get my GED, thank you."

"Oh that's fine, we'll have more time to get to know each other in detention probably. It'll be fun, I've never gotten in trouble before," she enthused, walking up to one of the doors to see if it was locked.

~~~

"Sounds like a good idea at this point..."
James started when the girl and boy disappeared in a flash of white light.
"Why do I get the feeling-"
He winced as the crack of white exploded in his vision, leaving him gasping when he reappeared in their room.
"-that we're next..."

"Seriously?" Okami gave Leah a once over before smirking. "You don't look like the goody-two-shoes type to me."

~ = ~

"Thaaaaat sucks." Justin drawled as he braced himself against the backboard of the bed. "That hurts. Ow. Ow ow ow."

He winced and pushed in at his right eye.

"Let's avoid that."

Leah grinned, pulling the door open. "I am so goody-two shoes you wouldn't even-"
She squeaked as the door slammed shut in her face. She barely kept her balance.
"Guess that room's occupied," she giggled.

~~~

"You okay dude?"
James looked at Justin in concern, finally taking in his painfully thin figure, pale skin, and the bags under his eyes. He did not look too healthy...